Harry and his Cronies go to Muggle University
by love-child-1403
Summary: You can probably tell from the title what this story is about so just a few warnings: don't read this if you aren't a fan of Hermione & Ron pairings, Harry & Draco and HP x OC pairings. Please don't take this seriously! Crack!fic; ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Harry Potter and his Cronies go to Muggle University!

**Author:** love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:** Although I would love to own the characters, I think we all know that I don't... It would be a little odd to think otherwise, hm?

**Brief Summary:** The title pretty much says it all - but if you don't like Hermione & Ron pairings or Harry & Draco pairings then I suggest that you don't read this - if this is not the case, enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"How can you be sure of that, exactly?" Ron asked, tapping his quill on the end of his nose and furrowing his brow in confusion. Hermione sighed in defeat and laid her head down on the desk.

"Ron, how exactly did you get your NEWTs?" asked Harry in exasperation, laying down his Muggle biro (his preferred method of writing) and running a hand through his hair. Ron gave him a none-committal grunt and jerked his thumb towards Hermione.

"Copied off her," he said, blatantly ignoring the disapproving look Hermione was giving him. He continued regardless. "I still don't get this university business…" Harry raised his eyebrows at Hermione. They had tried to explain that, until Ron started doing some work, he wouldn't understand a word of his lessons.

"It's simple, Ronald," Hermione said slowly, as though she were talking to a small child instead of a 19-year-old. Ron scowled at the use of his full name but grudgingly listened to Hermione's explanation without interruption. "Muggle university is a lot like wizarding higher education except, of course," she added, "that we can't use magic, make potions or," she gave Harry a stern look, "conjure up Patronuses to scare the new kids." Harry gave her a sheepish grin and pushed his glasses back onto his nose.

"Firstly, surely that goes under the category of magic? And secondly, that was the most I've ever seen you laugh in my entire life, Hermione!" said Harry accusingly, leaning forward to push Crookshanks his Psychology essay. Ron eyed the cat with slight distaste

"How come you were allowed to bring _that _and I wasn't allowed to bring Pig?" Ron asked, sighing resignedly as Crookshanks settled on his lap and began purring like a truck. He set down his quill and half-heartedly scratched Crookshanks' head, causing the purring to increase dramatically.

"The Ministry of Magic _did _tell you that part of the Muggle-Living Program was completed by not coming into contact with any magical creatures, or creatures which are associated with magic, magical devices, objects and-" Hermione was cut off by a knock on the dorm room door.

"S'open!" yelled Harry from underneath the table – half his psychology essay had been sent flying when he attempted to move Crookshanks. The door opened and Fred & George walked in sporting pyjamas (in matching shades of green) and party hats.

"You guys not in bed yet?" asked George seriously, crossing his arms and frowning in mock disappointment.

"Jamerson'll be after your collective guts," said Fred, mirroring George's actions. Harry rolled his eyes and guessed that Hermione and Ron were doing the same.

"I don't even know why you two got involved in this whole Muggle-Living thing," said Hermione as Fred and George flumped down on the sofa. "You tried to kill that muggle kid last year-"

"For the last time, Hermione, how were we to know that he was going to have a severe reaction to that acid?!" said George innocently, his eyes wide and appealing.

"Yeah!" agreed Fred heartily, "How were we to know his body would start to deteriorate the moment he drank his orange juice?" Harry finished rounding-up his papers and put them on the desk. He checked his watch – it was 11pm.

"Alright, you two hooligans, get out of our dorm. Ron has a ten page essay to do on the ascent of man and I'm afraid we're past the stage of chimpanzee, so you're of no use to us," said Harry, pushing them out the door and closing it behind them. When he turned around he saw Hermione and Ron working on Ron's essay, and he couldn't help but notice that Hermione's hand was lying quite suspiciously on his leg. Harry raised his eyebrows and shook his head in despair. Did they really think he hadn't noticed yet? He'd have to have serious brain damage not to notice the looks and the smiles and the gestures.

"So, you guys are getting pretty close then?" said Harry casually, sitting back down in his chair and swinging his legs over the side. Hermione's hand quickly disappeared from Ron's leg and when she spoke it was much too high-pitched to be considered normal.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Harry. Ron and I aren't having any kind of relationsh-" Harry interrupted her.

"That's just…" Harry made a vague sort of gesture, "great, but I was talking about Ron's essay…" he said innocently, a grin threatening to spread across his face. But Ron and Hermione got there first.

"Harry, you absolute wanker!" spluttered Ron, no longer able to control himself. Hermione, too, was laughing, thought she attempted to hide it by burying her face in her hands.

"I'm so embarrassed!" she said, giggling weakly with the other two. Harry ran a hand through his hair and grinned widely.

"Well, _you_ guys aren't subtle and _these_ walls aren't thick," he said dryly, indicating the wall that separated Harry and Ron's bedrooms. Hermione gawped and Ron's face was the reddest he had ever seen it.

"I-I-I… Oh, my God, Harry!" said Hermione, completely lost for words. Ron was much the same.

"Erm… Harry?" said Ron, once he had found his voice. "Can we pretend this never happened?" Harry shook his head solemnly.

"You're asking me to give up on the one thing I've ever had over Hermione," he said, suddenly grinning. "Oh, and, Hermione?" She looked up, blushing furiously. "Never shout 'Oh, Ron, take me' ever again. Please. For the good of my little remaining sanity…" Hermione gasped and her eyes widened.

"My God, you heard that?!" she shrieked, standing up and making to run away. Ron grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap (nearly squashing Crookshanks in the process).

"I was joking, Hermione – you mean you actually said that?" asked Harry innocently. Hermione's eyes narrowed but she was holding back laughter.

"You wanker!" she said vehemently, but there was no real conviction in her voice. Harry just laughed and checked his watch.

"Fred and George were right, it's pretty late," he said, standing up and picking up the pile of papers that made up his psychology essay. "Jamerson will have us." Hermione and Ron nodded (both still beet red) and stood up, walking to their separate rooms. Though Harry had reason to suspect that the separate room thing wouldn't be permanent… "And if I have to cover my ears in any way tonight, there will be hell to pay in the morning!" And, with that, he walked into his room, smirking like a madman, shutting the door behind him.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry awoke groggily to a loud banging on his door and shouts of "wake up, you wanker." It was the crack of dawn and already he had been called a wanker… He threw off the bed covers and got, grudgingly, out of bed. He threw open his door and was immediately faced with Fred and George, who were pale-faced and uncharacteristically sombre-looking.

"What?" asked Harry, instantly more awake. A gloomy Ron appeared behind the twins and answered Harry's question for him.

"Malfoy's here."

Harry stared at the three brothers, open-mouthed, silently begging them to be joking. Fred understood and shook his head sadly.

"Sorry, mate…" said Fred, nudging George with his elbow.

"Yeah, sorry… The maggot's a couple of doors down from here," said George. Harry suddenly found his voice.

"What's that bastard doing here?" he growled. Fred shrugged moodily but Ron snarled and pushed past the twins.

"He's probably here just to piss us o-" Ron stopped mid-sentence and wrinkled his nose. "Harry, can I continue my mindless rant once you've put some clothes on? No offence but it's just not something I want to see and seven o'clock in the morning…" Harry vaguely remembered that he had been sleeping in his boxers and looked down, only to find that he couldn't actually see them. He was about to panic when he realised the obvious. His glasses.

"Yeah, sure…" he said, grinning and turning back into his room. He quickly dressed himself in a pair of jeans and a black, short sleeved T-shirt and turned back to his door, shoving his glasses onto his nose as he went. He then managed to trip and fall into his door, his ankles having become entangled in a heap of clothes from the day before. Harry stared, fuzzy-eyes, at his smashed glasses and winced. They'd take ages to fix… He swore and stood up, opening the door whilst watching his own feet very carefully. Hermione was sitting, fully dressed, at the table, ignoring her bowl of cornflakes in favour of a muggle newspaper. "Hermione…" began Harry, putting on his most mournful face so as to stir up a bit of sympathy. "I've broken my glasses again!"

He then proceeded to trip over Crookshanks, managing to land gracefully in the wash basket. Hermione giggled and held out her hand to help him up but Harry didn't take it. Hermione sighed and got out of her chair.

"You," she said wearily, hauling Harry forcefully out of the wash basket, "are hopeless without your glasses."

"Thanks…" he grumbled, brushing himself off. "Could you possibly do something about it?" Hermione began to chew her bottom lip worriedly.

"Harry, you know I can't-" Harry interrupted her.

"If they even attempt to take you off the program, I'll tell them it was my fault – please? You know I always end up doing something stupid like turn my glasses into a hamster!" Harry complained, practically begging for her help. She sighed again and took out her wand. Harry smiled gratefully and held out the frames to Hermione, who took them from him and held them at arms-length. She tapped them lightly with her wand and muttered 'Occulus Repairo" before handing them back to Harry, good as new. He breathed a sigh of relief as everything came back into focus.

"You're welcome," said Hermione shortly, going back to her newspaper. Harry grinned and sat down opposite her, taking a slice of toast from the stack and spreading it thickly with marmalade.

"Is Ron ready to continue with his rant yet?" said Harry, taking a huge bite of toast and reaching across the table to pour himself a glass of orange juice. Hermione nodded and pointed towards Ron's bedroom, where there was quite a large amount of noise going on. "What is he _doing _in there?" asked Harry incredulously. Hermione chuckled.

"He's lost his wand – he's determined to hex Malfoy…" There was a slight smirk on her face when she said this. Harry grimaced and shook his head, helping himself to another piece of toast from the pile.

"You hid it again, didn't you?" he asked rhetorically, this time spreading his toast with peanut butter.

"You know, Ron still doesn't know how to use the toaster…" said Hermione, changing the subject swiftly to Ron's muggle disabilities. Harry took a bite of his toast just as Ron came out of his room, wearing jeans, a navy, long-sleeved T-shirt and a frown.

"I can too work the toaster," said Ron grumpily, slumping down on the chair next to Hermione and swiping Harry's piece of half-eaten toast from his hand.

"Go on then – explain to us how a toaster works, Ron," said Harry, staring longingly at the piece of toast that was formerly his. Ron looked stumped for a second then turned to Hermione and blinked.

"Hermione, how does the toaster work?" Hermione simply smiled and turned her attention to her neglected bowl of cornflakes. Ron glared at her. "Call yourself a girlfriend?" he said miserably, munching on Harry's toast. Hermione ignored him and looked up at Harry.

"So, what are we going to do with Malfoy?" she asked him, pushing her bowl aside and linking her hands on the tabletop. It was a simple enough question but Harry knew there was more to it than Hermione was letting on. The twinkle in her eyes told him all he needed to know… Ron scowled.

"How's about we burn him, claiming he's a witch, then-" Ron was immediately interrupted by Hermione.

"He can easily just use a freeze-flame charm," she said, sounding almost bitter. "And besides, we shouldn't really be committing homicide at the age of 19…"

"18!" Harry said testily, pointing to himself and folding his arms in defiance.

"Harry, stop being difficult…" Harry frowned but he knew Hermione was right. Murder, unfortunately, was probably not the best route to be taking here…

They were jerked from their sombre thoughts by a severe-sounding knock at the door. Harry got up to answer it, only to find something waiting on the other side that he really couldn't stomach right now.

"Potter," came the cold drawl of someone Harry had tried so hard to forget.

"Malfoy," he said emotionlessly. Seeing him again made Harry angry beyond all words. He just wanted to hurt him; see him writhing in agony.

And then he wanted to kiss his pain a way.

Malfoy had crushed his feelings and now he just expected to be welcomed back with open arms? Harry snorted inwardly. He'd toughened up a bit since they'd last met…

"What do you want, Malfoy?" asked Harry coldly, surprised at how easy it was to keep his voice level.

"You," he answered simply, grabbing Harry's arm and pulling him out into the corridor. Malfoy pushed him against the wall, pinning his wrists by his sides. Harry glared at him, his heart going a mile a minute.

"For fuck's sake, Malfoy!" he hissed, trying to wiggle free from his vice-like grip. "You can't just come crawling back to me now that you've decided that the Dark Side isn't working out so well for you!" Malfoy's brow furrowed.

"Look, Potter, I came back here because I wanted to," Malfoy said calmly, releasing Harry's wrists and taking a step backwards. "I came back to say that I'm… I'm _sorry_…" Malfoy's tone of voice switched quickly to accusatory, "and if you can't accept that then you're more of a wanker than you used to be!" he finished, looking pained at having to apologise but determined that he wasn't going to leave without a fight. Harry froze.

"What?" Harry said, startled. Malfoy didn't say anything. "I could've sworn you just… apologised." Harry was mystified. Malfoy just wasn't the sort of guy to apologise for something like this… for anything, as a matter of fact. Malfoy slowly nodded, unable to look Harry in the eye but completely serious, nonetheless.

Harry wasn't exactly sure what to do know. He'd never been standing awkwardly in a corridor with someone he still had trouble forgetting, then apologised to in a way that suggested…

'He means it?' thought Harry questioningly, barely giving himself time to ask before the answer came to him, along with the relief and realisation he had longed for.

"Well…?" Malfoy asked tentatively (after the ridiculously long silence following Malfoy's outburst). Harry cocked his head to one side.

"Well, what?" he asked, slightly puzzled. He had been too busy staring into Malfoy's eyes…

"Well… Well… How about it?" Malfoy finished lamely, bringing his eyes slowly up to meet Harry's.

There was silence between the two for a moment, and then…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Ooooh, I just love cliff-hangers, don't you?

Er...

Please put that knife away!!!

Lol, I'm sure you're not all that bothered about when I put the next part out mumbles incoherently but I'll try to get it out soon anyway... Oh, and reviews always help! wink, wink, nudge, nudge

I love you all!!!

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Harry and his Cronies go to Muggle University! Part 2

**Author:** love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:** Although I would love to own the characters, I think we all know that I don't... It would be a little odd otherwise, hm? All other characters here are fictional and all my own.

**Brief Summary:** The title pretty much says it all - but if you don't like Hermione & Ron pairings or Harry & Other Character pairings then I suggest that you don't read this - if this is not the case, enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry awoke with a start and it took him a moment to adjust to reality. He was on a Muggle-living course at a University in London… He was alone in his bed on campus, not waking up after a passionate night-in with an ex-lover turned Death Eater… Harry lay back down and sighed. Thank God it was just a dream. He couldn't even begin to think about the repercussions of doing something that stupid…

"Hey, Potter, you're hogging the covers. You may be The-Boy-Who-Lived but if you don't surrender at least half the duvet then you'll become known as The-Boy-Who-Was-Violently-Smothered-With-A-Pillow," came a sleepy drawl from beside him, accompanied by a hard tug on the duvet. Harry turned to see a ruffled, vaguely peaceful-looking Malfoy – and he was completely naked.

Shit.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"You did what?!" Alice whispered, so shocked that she stopped chewing her customary Extra Ice gum and instead gaped at him (rather unattractively) with her mouth wide open. Harry gave her a weak, sheepish grin and took the gum she held out to him.

"Please, tell me it wasn't as stupid as I think it was…?" he pleaded with her, resting his chin in his cupped hands and giving Alice a really pathetic look that just screamed 'give me pity'. Harry didn't know it but it made Alice's heart jump every time he did that.

Harry really liked Alice - she was a ditzy brunette Muggle whom he had met on his first day of the study. They were in all the same classes - Psychology, Art and Economics. They got on like a house on fire - mostly because they were both failing miserably in Economics, despite the fact that both Alice's parents were accountants…

Anyway, Alice knew the basics of the Malfoy situation and he had managed to begin to tell her what had taken place the night before when she had suddenly got the gist of what he was saying and… well…

"Harry, you are such an idiot! Have you any idea what you're getting yourself into?" 'Ok, that was a little overprotective… Might wanna tone that down next time…'

"Sorry, did you say something?" Alice blushed and shook her head. Harry frowned. She had this weird habit of mumbling to herself whenever she thought he couldn't hear. "Look, Alice," Harry began again, pushing a Mars bar across the desk insistently. Alice sighed and grudgingly picked it up. "Malfoy and I go way back and at least 99 of that time was us trying to piss the other one off! But then I loved him…"

Luckily Harry missed her wince of pain.

"And now I don't - I can't. He's been too much of a twat for me to forgive him for what he's done," Harry continued, much to Alice's obvious relief.

Harry suddenly realised that she had finished the Mars bar and gaped at her. Alice's cheeks went pink again.

"What?" she asked innocently, tucking the sweet wrapper discreetly into Harry's jeans pocket and flashing him an angelic smile.

"I only just gave you the bloody thing!" Alice shrugged absentmindedly.

"I didn't have any breakfast - anyway, stop dodging the point!" she said, her tone of voice changing from not-really-there to accusatory in a split-second. Harry glared at her sullenly.

"I wasn't dodging the point…" Harry mumbled, knowing full well that Alice knew he was lying through his teeth. To cover up this astronomical fib, Harry started rummaging through his bag to find his biro. Unfortunately the first thing he pulled out was definitely not a Muggle biro…

"Harry…" began Alice, her eyes dancing with amusement, "…why do you have a feather in your bag?" Harry's eyes travelled to his desk, where there was in fact a quill, lying unabashed in front of him. He struggled wildly to find an adequate excuse for why a perfectly normal Muggle boy, such as himself, would be carrying round a sharpened feather but he came up blank. He opted for a neutral sort of surprise, which seemed to be enough of a reply to satisfy Alice, as she began a short diatribe about how she was always finding really stupid things in her bag, like pieces of lettuce and old pieces of parchment…

Harry suddenly stopped his vain search for a pen and looked up. Had she just said parchment? Alice was still chatting away regardless, her pen shooting across the page as she copied down her economics notes with an ease that came with years of skim-reading and not listening in class.

"Alice, did you just say you had bits of parchment in your bag?" Harry interrupted incredulously, hoping that he was hearing things and that he hadn't just accidentally befriended someone from Beauxbatons. For some reason Alice looked quite flustered at his question and she instantly stammered something about needing to go to the toilet, rushing off before he could question her further.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Not long after she'd left the bell rang, indicating the break between lectures, and Harry was relieved to find that he had a free period. Any free periods that he, Hermione and Ron shared, they would spend together in the comfort and familiarity of the University's immense library. Okay, so it wasn't quite the size of the one that Hogwarts housed, but then the University they were now attending generally didn't have walking suits of armour or moving photographs either.

Hermione greeted Harry with a hug and a nervous smile but Ron only grunted and seemed to be avoiding his gaze as he sat down with his Economics rough notes and began copying them up.

After five minutes of uncomfortable silence, Harry slammed down his pen and glared at Ron.

"What the hell is your problem, Ron?" he growled, shoving his glasses forcefully back onto the bridge of his nose and preparing himself for the worst. Ron scowled and put down his quill, which left an angry black blotch on his Physics notes.

"I'll tell you what my problem is!" Ron was fuming as quietly as he could but heads were still curiously turning their way. "You and that… that weasel! And you couldn't even tell me!" Harry had been expecting this but he still cringed at the words being spoken aloud. Ron stood up, shoved his things into his rucksack and stormed out of the library. Harry turned to Hermione for support but she shook her head sadly.

"He's right you know," she said, gathering up her things and placing them carefully into her shoulder bag. Harry gawped at her wordlessly.

"But he would have hated me!" he said incredulously, standing up and following Hermione out of the library. She whirled around and he stopped in his tracks. She looked angry but there was a hint of sadness there too.

"And what do you think he thinks of you now, Harry?!" Hermione hissed, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. "How can he trust you now that you've kept something this big from him?" Harry felt that he really needed to defend himself right about now.

"But, Hermione –" She interrupted him before he even got the chance.

"Maybe next time you should put your trust in him. He's supposed to be your best friend." And with that Hermione walked off after Ron, leaving Harry alone in the corridor, wondering what the hell he'd done in a previous life to deserve this.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Oooh, what's Harry got himself into, eh?

Tune in next time for the thrilling conclusion to this fight!

Also in the next chapter, find out what Alice is hiding from Harry and how she came to be in all his classes...

Hope you enjoyed that! Please review, I'd love to have feedback.

xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Harry Potter and his Cronies go to Muggle University! Part 3

**Author:** love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:** Although I would love to own the characters, I think we all know that I don't... It would be a little odd for you to have thought otherwise, hm? All other characters here (e.g. Alice, Maura and Katrina) are all my own.

**Brief Summary:** The title pretty much says it all - but if you don't like Hermione & Ron pairings or Harry & Other Character pairings then I suggest that you don't read this - if this is not the case, enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry didn't sleep that night. Oh, he tried. But, as usual, nothing worked. He tried turning the pillow over so he could feel the cold side – but he realised that it smelled of Malfoy. That definitely wasn't going to help him sleep. He tried reading the most boring and confusing section of his Economics textbook – but that reminded him of Alice and her mention of parchment. Again, not exactly a sure-fire way of sending him to la-la-land…

He finally gave up his tossings and turnings and, enjoying the long-forgotten freedom of having his own bedroom, got out of bed and put on a pair of jeans over his boxers. He put on his glasses and opened the door as quietly as was humanly possible; he didn't want to wake up Ron and Hermione, they'd only ask him what was wrong and he didn't want to have to explain something that he didn't understand…

When Harry stepped into the living area of their student accommodation, there was something there that he really wasn't expecting.

"Alice, what are you doing reading the back of the Cheerios packet?" he asked gently, cocking his head to one side and staring at her across the room. Alice started at the sound of his voice and turned around, dropping the box of cereal on the floor and letting out a muffled squeak. Harry could see her blushing from the other side of the room.

"Harry! I'm sorry, I-" Her voice seemed to fail her and she hurriedly picked up the box of Cheerios and set it down on the counter. She tried again. "I couldn't sleep, and your door was open so I… Look, I'm sorry, I'll just go-"

"No," Harry said suddenly. "No, it's ok, I couldn't sleep either. I was just going to make some toast." He walked towards Alice and took a loaf of sliced bread from the bread bin to the left of her. "Want some?" She nodded mutely and sat down awkwardly at the kitchen table. Harry noticed that she looked uncomfortable but he couldn't figure out why. It wasn't her first time in their dormitory, after all.

"Harry, I'm really sorry for barging in here in the middle of the ni-" Harry raised his hand to interrupt her then, after putting a couple of slices of bread in the toaster, sat down at the table with her.

"You hardly barged, Alice…" he said, grinning and running his fingers through his hair. "I didn't even notice you were here – and I was awake…" She smiled and visibly relaxed in her chair.

"As long as you aren't angry with me… And you might want to lock your door, you know. Like I said, it was open when I tried it," she said, absentmindedly tracing patterns on the tabletop with her index finger. Harry frowned as he stood up and walked over to the door.

"I could've sworn I locked it…" he mumbled. Alice shrugged and stood up, making her way to the fridge. Harry tried the door handle and was completely baffled when he found that it was locked, as he had previously thought. He turned to see Alice holding a jar of peanut butter and wearing a contented grin.

"What?" she said, her smile fading slightly at the confused look on his face. Harry was starting to get a bad feeling about this…

"It doesn't matter – you were right," he said, grabbing the two pieces of toast that had popped up and putting them on separate plates. He passed one to Alice, who was sitting down again, and put his on the table while he grabbed some marmalade out of the fridge. "The door was unlocked – we must've forgotten to do it last night…" He sat down next to her and began spreading marmalade on his toast, as she did the same with her peanut butter.

"So, Harry," Alice said suddenly (through a mouthful of peanut butter), "I don't really know much about your family, considering how long we've known each other…" Harry heard the unspoken question in her off-hand statement and grinned. A couple of years ago and he would have probably answered her coldly; but he had come to terms with the fact that people were only asking because they were interested, not because they wanted to rub it in his face that they had a family and he didn't.

"Well, my parents died when I was very young… I don't really remember them…" he began, pausing to finish off his toast and ponder just how much he should tell Alice about his past. "I had a godfather for a while but he passed away a few years ago." Alice laid a hand on his arm and bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, Harry – I shouldn't have brought any of this up," she said nervously, her eyes flicking between him and the door. She was extremely uncomfortable with the situation; Harry could see that.

"Alice, it's fine – it was a long time ago and I'm ok with it now," he said, standing up and grabbing the empty plates from the table. Alice's hand fell back to her side and she coughed.

"I should go now – knowing my luck I'll get caught by Jamerson. Have you any idea how difficult it is sneaking around this place in the middle of the night with someone as vindictive as him on the loose?!" she said, smiling as she stood and put the peanut butter back in the fridge. Harry surpressed laughter as he brushed the toast crumbs off the plates and into the bin. Yeah, he knew exactly how difficult it could be…

"No, I don't suppose I do. I'll see you tomorrow –" Harry looked at his watch and rephrased his sentence; "– today. Don't forget we've got an early Psychology lecture. 10am in B12, alright?" Alice nodded and opened the door, stepping out into the darkened corridor and closing it behind her.

Harry gaped. He walked to the door and tried it again. It was locked.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry wished he'd never even come to the damn lecture. He'd already fallen asleep twice and Hermione kept hitting him every time he did. His arm was now numb and his eyes were beginning to droop again. He was, however, doing slightly better than Alice, who was currently snoring gently on his shoulder. She'd be lucky if she didn't fail all of her classes.

At the end of the lecture Harry decided it would probably be a good idea to wake Alice up and force her to go to bed. There was no way she was going to make it through the rest of the day otherwise and the next lecture they had was after lunch – they both had some time to kill. He shook her shoulders gently and she sat bolt upright and glared at him.

"I told you, it's Tuesday, dammit!" she hissed at him, her eyes slightly unfocused. Harry couldn't help but laugh as she shook her head and groaned slightly. "Harry, what time is it, where am I, and why is your shoulder soaking wet?" Harry only stopped laughing long enough to tell her that it was 10:45, she was in room B12 for her Psychology lecture and his shoulder was wet because, apparently, she drooled in her sleep.

"So I suggest you get some sleep and I'll see you in our next lec-" Harry's attention was suddenly drawn away from the conversation at hand by a short, sharp scream from the outside corridor. Without thinking, he leapt up from his seat and darted off to find out what the cause of the commotion was. He could feel Hermione and Alice following behind him as he dodged through the crowds filling the hallway.

He hadn't been running for even a minute when he came across the source of all the noise. There was a blonde girl around his age lying on the floor, her hair dishevelled and a look of horror on her face. Above her stood another girl, but her hair was black and her piercing blue eyes were focused completely on the figure sprawled at her feet. Harry recognised both of them instantly. The one that was standing was a witch who had attended Hogwarts, just as he had. And he couldn't think of a single nice thing to say about her.

Her name was Katrina Aurora Lestrange and, as she reached into her pocket to pull out what Harry knew would be her wand, something extraordinary happened. Alice appeared beside him and, in the few seconds it took her to figure out what was going on, looked vaguely bemused. This look was then replaced with one of hatred and determination as she stepped through the gathering crowd towards the two girls. Katrina paused to look around and, in the split second in which she hesitated, she was hit with some sort of invisible force and was thrown a few metres down the hall. She hit the wall with a thud and crumpled into an unconscious heap.

Harry's eyes widened. That had to have been Alice.

It couldn't have been anyone else. Hermione wouldn't want to jeopardise her place at the University and Ron was still in his Ethics lecture (of course, Harry only knew this because Hermione had told him - Ron still wasn't speaking to him). He couldn't see anyone else around that he recognised from Hogwarts and most of the students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons had chosen to go to Universities in their respective countries.

Alice had now moved to the girl on the floor and was helping her up.

"Maura, are you ok? What did she do to you?" Harry couldn't hear Maura's mumbled reply but Alice's face turned white and she turned to Harry with tears in her eyes. "Harry, could you help me get Maura to her dorm, please?" He nodded mutely and stood on the other side of Maura, slinging her arm around his neck. Between them they half-carried, half-dragged her away from the rowdy cluster of people who had accumulated to watch events unfold.

"So, Maura, what happened back there?" asked Harry, shifted his weight a bit so he could support her better. Maura sighed and stared dejectedly at the floor.

"I'm going to assume you know who I am?" she asked and Harry nodded in reply. Alice looked surprised but didn't say anything. "Then you'll know that I'm a Muggle-born and that Miss Lestrange back there wants to kill every last one of us… And I just happened to bump into her in the corridor…" she trailed off and winced as she stumbled slightly on the linoleum floor. "She hit me a couple of times – I don't think she wanted to draw attention to herself by using magic – but she was about to get out her wand when you guys turned up." Harry nodded.

"I saw. I guess we got there just in time." Maura nodded and smiled slightly, though it obviously pained her to do so. It was at this lull in the conversation that Alice decided to make her contribution.

"So, you guys know each other?" Harry and Maura nodded. "How come?" Harry wondered how the hell he was supposed to answer that question when suddenly Maura answered her in complete truth.

"We went to Hogwarts together," she said matter-of-factly, pointing out the door to her dormitory on the left of the corridor. "I was in Ravenclaw, he was in Gryffindor." Alice overcame her shock pretty quickly.

"Really? How come you never mentioned it, Harry?" Harry just gaped at her.

"What do you mean?" Harry was confused - it was part of the Muggle living course's terms and conditions. "We're not supposed to tell anyone that we're… Well, we're what we are…" Alice simply laughed as they lugged Maura through her door, Harry kicking it closed behind them.

"Oh, that!" Alice dumped their ward down on her bed, Harry having given up trying to help when he realised that Alice was pretty much taking all of Maura's weight. "I already know about all of that – My entire family's been to Hogwarts," she announced, rubbing some life back into her shoulder. Harry shut his mouth (which had been open up to this point) and sat down on one of the chairs in Maura's bedroom.

"So, how come I've never seen you there?" Alice's face fell and she sat down opposite Harry, looking slightly ashamed.

"Harry… I'm a squib."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Oh, my! What an exciting revelation!

Thank you to random-laughter and claire2007 for reviewing this story - I hope that others will do the same!

Tune in next time for more cheerios, toast and exciting secrets :)

xxx

P.S. Seriously, reviews do help! Save a child today (me) by clicking that button below. Yes. That one. It's not hard, you know!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Harry Potter and his Cronies go to Muggle University! Part 4

**Author:** love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:** Although I would love to own the characters, I think we all know that I don't... It would be a little odd for you to have thought otherwise, hm? All other characters here (e.g. Alice, Maura, Katrina, Blanca, Aria) are all my own.

**Brief Summary:** The title pretty much says it all - but if you don't like Hermione & Ron pairings or Harry & Other Character pairings then I suggest that you don't read this - if this is not the case, enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

_**AN://**__Sorry this was such a long time coming but my muse went on holiday and my exams are looming – LOOMING! And looming exams are definitely the worst kind… Anyway, in this chapter Draco Malfoy is back by popular demand (Ok, so only a few people have asked me to make him a more important character but it's enough for me!) and I will be introducing a couple of new ones… Read, relax and enjoy…_

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry gaped at Alice. Then, just to be sure she had got the point, he gaped a little more. He only stopped when Alice started to explain, thinking it would probably look rude if his mouth was hanging open whilst she was talking.

"Sorry, Harry – but how was I to know you were a wizard?" she said, shrugging and fiddling with the end of her shirt. Harry had to admit that she had a point there. She wasn't exactly allowed to tell him that she was supposed to be magical but wasn't, especially as she suspected him to be a Muggle.

"Ok…" he said slowly, still trying to take it all in. "So, you're a squib?" Alice winced slightly but nodded nonetheless. "And that means that you're from a magical family, right?" At this, she broke into a grin and she suddenly looked proud.

"Yep! I'm actually a pure-blood. The twins went to Hogwarts and so did Siân and Dylan." Her smile faltered slightly at Harry's perplexed look. "Oh, yeah," she conceded, "I never told you about my vast family, did I? Well, they're all older than I am, the twins being the oldest by far at 27 – that's Kendra and Kendrick. And then there's Siân and Dylan, who're 24 and 21 respectively." Harry nodded at her to continue. "Basically, my family thinks I'm a disgrace and that I bring shame on the family…" Alice's speech slowed and her look of pride suddenly disappeared, to be replaced with that look you get from a puppy when someone treads on its paw.

This was when Maura cut in.

"Basically, her family, being the stuck-up arses that they are," (Alice winced at this but said nothing) "think that she's inferior because she can't do magic." Harry could tell by the look on Maura's face that she didn't hold with that sort of behaviour, and he was suddenly reminded of Hermione.

"But, Alice…" Harry began slowly, running a hand contemplatively through his hair. "You did magic back there. And you may not have realised but you did some last night in my dorm, too." Maura's eyebrows practically disappeared off her head at this comment, but not because she was surprised.

"You were in his _dorm _last night?" she asked incredulously, a smirk appearing on her lips where before there had only been the occasional wince of pain. Alice flushed an attractive shade of pink, which only darkened as Maura continued. "And there was _magic?_" Harry could see the cogs turning in her head – in entirely the wrong direction, so he decided to come to Alice's aid.

"She couldn't sleep so she came into our dorm, somehow managing to enter through a locked door," Alice threw Harry an odd look.

"You said it was unlocked!" Her tone was accusatory but there was a hint of hurt in there too. Harry knew it was going to be difficult to explain to her. For a start, he didn't know why he'd lied to her about it in the first place. Maybe he didn't think she would believe him. It was only now that he realised he was going to have to try pretty hard to find something she _wouldn't _believe.

"I didn't think you'd believe me if I told you it was locked – I didn't know you weren't a Muggle, did I?" Harry realised that he sounded pretty defensive but Alice just accepted it with a smile and a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"I guess not…" Maura ignored this triviality and continued.

"Why didn't you come to my dorm instead?" she asked Alice, a mischievous smile on her lips. Alice mumbled something about peanut butter and Cheerios then stopped talking altogether.

After a few moments of intense staring from Maura and intense embarrassment from Alice, Harry was still confused, and decided that it would probably be best if he just left.

"Erm… I've gotta run – I'm going to try and get some sleep in before my next lecture…" He threw Alice an apologetic look and quickly vacated Maura's dormitory.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Katrina pulled out her wand and sent an angry, pointless hex out of one of the hall windows, narrowly missing a rather perplexed pigeon as it flew past. She growled. She would much rather have hit it. Blanca walked calmly next to her as she stormed down the corridor, flinging hexes around and cursing under her breath.

"Fucking mudblood and her stupid friends… Next time I see that Alice girl, I'm going to-"

"She's a pureblood, Reno – you can't do a damn thing…" Katrina stopped in her tracks and whirled around to face a demure-looking Blanca.

"She's a WHAT?!" Katrina hissed, infuriatingly close to a mental breakdown – that impudent girl was sullying the name of her kind. Blanca shrugged and flicked back her long dark hair. Blanca was a Spanish half-blood whom Katrina had befriended the year before. She was extremely beautiful and clever but Katrina didn't care about that – besides, she was just as attractive and her mind, though evil, was pretty sharp. No – the reason that Katrina was friends with this particular half-blood was that it greatly angered her parents. And though she had grown rather fond of the girl, that was pretty much her aim in life…

"She comes from a long line of pureblood witches and wizards and-" Katrina shut her up with a sidelong glare.

"I don't care what her blood is like, I'll drain every last drop…" she trailed off at the end of her sentence, staring longingly down the long corridor. Malfoy was striding towards her, his bright blonde hair glinting in the sunlight. She sighed breathily as he continued towards her and she couldn't help but note the delicious way his baggy jeans glanced off his lithe frame and the confidence that he exuded with every step.

A sigh beside her brought Katrina back to where she was standing.

Next to Blanca.

A half-blood.

And Draco Malfoy was coming towards her, every step bringing him closer to what Katrina saw as her impending doom.

She thought fast, opening a door to her right and shoving Blanca inside, ignoring her startled protests and slamming it in her face. She leant casually against the door and tried to look extremely cool, although her heart was beating out one hell of a rhythm against her ribcage.

"Hey, Katrina," Malfoy drawled as he passed her, nearly giving her heart failure. Not that she would have cared – at that moment she would have died happy…

"Hi, Draco," she answered breathlessly – but he had already rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. Katrina gave a soft moan and slid down the door. "He said 'hey'…!" She felt as light as air!

A banging on the door she was leaning against brought her back to her senses and she stood up and brushed herself down. She turned and opened the door… to find the most comical sight she had ever seen in her life. Blanca was sitting on the floor of what appeared to be a broom cupboard (though not the sort of brooms that Katrina was familiar with), a whole host of cleaning products strewn across her lap – and a bucket on her head.

Katrina's delighted laughter could be heard for miles.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Ok, so I lied about the toast and the Cheerios…

Hope you enjoyed reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Will bring next part out as soon as possible.

Please review – I'll keep bashing the message in, you know? IT REALLY DOES HELP!

xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Harry Potter and his Cronies go to Muggle University! Part 5

**Author:** love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:** Although I would love to own the characters, I think we all know that I don't... It would be a little odd for you to have thought otherwise, hm? All other characters here (e.g. Alice, Maura, Katrina, Blanca, Aria) are all my own.

**Brief Summary:** The title pretty much says it all - but if you don't like Hermione & Ron pairings or Harry & Other Character pairings then I suggest that you don't read this - if this is not the case, enjoy!

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

_AN:// Oh, my goodness… what's that I see in the distance? Is it…? It could be! Oh, dear Lord, it's a STORYLINE!_

_Anyway – sorry for taking so long in bringing this one out but I've got exams at the moment and they're really taking their toll! Do enjoy this part – I promise that it will be as good as I can make it. (So don't hold your breath…) And it's longer than the last one too! Aren't you the lucky ones…?_

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry flicked through the chapter he was meant to be revising for Psychology, sighing occasionally as he came across a sentence that he didn't understand. A few people in the library were giving him some odd looks, as there were quite a few sentences that Harry didn't understand…

"Erm… Harry?" He froze halfway through turning a page, ignoring the fact that his glasses were already slipping down his nose. Ron sat down in the chair next to him, looking slightly sheepish, and dumped his bag on the table.

"…Ron-" Harry was interrupted by his red-haired friend slamming a huge text book down on the table, barely missing his fingers, and he stared in perplexed silence as Ron opened it to a page somewhere in the middle and pointed at something Harry couldn't see. "Harry, do you know how to do maths?" He was slightly taken aback by the casual question.

"Er… I guess-"

"Good – can you help me factorise these quadratics?" Ron asked, quickly shoving the book round to Harry, his jaw set in a way that said don't-ask-any-questions-let's-just-move-on – which was just typically Ron… Harry glanced down at the equations then back at Ron, who was still looking nonchalant. Ok then – Harry wasn't going to complain…

"Ron – these are incredibly simple… Ok – first you need to…"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Alice buried her face in her hands and tried to block out Maura's teasing by thinking about more pleasant things… Like Harry. The fact that she was now spacing out and thinking about the boy that Maura was teasing her about probably showed on Alice's face as Maura stopped abruptly in the middle of a sentence.

"Don't tell me you're thinking about The-Boy-Who-Was-Oblivious again?!" Alice blushed furiously in reply, (which seemed to be something she was doing a lot lately) and glared at the blonde who was grinning down at her.

"It's hard to forget when you won't stop talking about him…" she said hotly, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of the orange juice she had taken from the fridge whilst Maura had been teasing. She always got like this whenever Alice had a crush on someone and she absolutely _hated _it.

"That may be so… But I think you'll find that it's _you _who can't stop talking about him," Maura shot back, her eyebrows raised in mild amusement. Alice had to concede that the girl had a point, even if it also meant admitting that she had a thing for Harry. "What I don't understand," Maura continued, tossing her fair hair back over her shoulder and out of her eyes, "is how Harry can be so blind! I mean, it's obvious to anyone that you fancy the pants off him – he's the only one who can't see it!" Alice lowered her eyes to her glass and swilled its contents around absent-mindedly.

"I'm not _that_ obvious… am I?" She looked up, suddenly worried that everybody knew she was in love with Harry Potter. Of course, she was also slightly worried that she had to compete with Draco Malfoy. He definitely wasn't her type – he was far too evil – but she had to admit that he was easy on the eyes. Maura's tormenting gaze softened slightly and she grabbed a smoothie from the fridge before sitting down next to Alice.

"Nah – it's not that obvious. Don't forget that I've known you since before you could fly a broom," she said consolingly, unscrewing the lid of her drink and taking a swig. Alice shuddered.

"Do NOT mention brooms… I never want to fly one of those things ever again…" Maura rolled her eyes and gave out a short bark of a laugh.

"Oh, come on! It was barely even a concussion… You were making a big fuss out of noth-" Alice held up her hand to interrupt Maura's attempt at reconciling herself and grimaced.

"_Barely a concussion?!_ Maura, I was out for _three whole days!_" All Alice got in reply to this was a huge grin. "Not only that," she continued, trying to ignore the fact that the huge grin was now turning into a huge smirk, "but when I woke up you'd all got bored of waiting and gone to see a Quidditch match!" A nostalgic twinkle appeared in Maura's eye and she sighed happily.

"That was a good game… Normandy v. Wales, I believe?" Alice nodded, slightly annoyed that her so-called best friend had managed to turn what she had just said into an invitation to talk about Quidditch.

"Yeah, it was. But that's not the point that I'm making here. The point that I'm trying to make is…" Alice paused and frowned, realising that she never really had a point to begin with. Maura rolled her eyes and stood up, throwing her empty smoothie bottle in the bin.

"If you want to continue that sentence I'll be reading in my room…" And with that she disappeared, leaving Alice with her confused thoughts of Harry – and the sudden yet undeniable urge to watch a game of Quidditch…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"Harry, you can't be serious," Hermione asked, astounded that he would even suggest something like this to her.

"Look, it's not like we've never skipped lessons before…" Hermione was still being shocked and unhelpful so Alice decided to step in.

"I'm with Harry on this one – it isn't even a lecture… technically it's not obligatory," she said, shrugging. Harry could tell that she was extremely proud of herself for managing to get the word 'obligatory' into an every-day sentence.

"Nice word," he said, earning himself a grin from Alice and a glare from a pre-occupied Hermione.

"What if we get caught?!" she whispered fervently, as though afraid they would be heard by a passing hall monitor, but still needed to let him know just how unhappy she was with this plan.

Alice and Harry rolled their eyes in unison. It was lunchtime on a Friday and there was a meeting on that everyone was supposed to be attending in about fifteen minutes. However, Harry had better things to do with his time than to sit around listening to dusty old scholars telling him how to spend his university days. Alice had agreed with his point of view and they had decided that they'd take the afternoon off. Of course, Hermione wasn't best pleased with this idea…

"How on Earth can you justify this, Harry? It's not the same as going off to charm a three-headed dog," (a few passing students gave the small group a funny look but Hermione ignored them) "and it's_definitely _not for the greater good. You want to go Christmas shopping!" she finished incredulously, throwing her hands up in the air, as if it was the best possible way to show her discomfort at the thought.

"I don't see what your problem is _really… _It's just a harmless bit of shopping-" He was interrupted by another round of Hermione's dangerously emphatic arm movements.

"It's October!" Harry shrugged innocently and pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"I like to get it done before December – I don't like to feel rushed…" This was, of course, a complete lie. Usually, Harry bought his presents a couple of weeks before Christmas, always finding it very difficult to find a book big enough for Hermione and a present interesting enough for Ron, as the gangly boy had a very short attention span. The reason he wanted to go into town was because he wanted to go to the cinema – a new film was out that he'd been dying to see and he'd never had the chance to go to one before. It would be a new experience for most of them.

"Harry… There is no way that I'm going to let this happen, you know that?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry smiled to himself as he plunged his hand into a huge tub of popcorn, marvelling at how easily Hermione had complied once she'd found out that Daniel Craig was starring in the movie they were going to see. Apparently, he was "a very talented actor"…

Alice reached over and grabbed some of Harry's popcorn, her eyes glued to the screen. His smug smile turned to one of fondness when he saw the absolute joy on her face at the prospect of, in her words, "a really big moving picture". Sometimes Harry forgot that she'd been deprived of all this Muggle stuff, despite the fact that she'd been a squib for the best part of 18 years. He turned back to the screen and was surprised to find that he couldn't actually see it. He frowned at the person in front of him and leant forward, handing Alice the popcorn whilst he did so.

"Hey – down in front," he whispered, trying not to draw attention to himself. The girl sat down and swivelled round in her seat, looking embarrassed.

"Sorry," she whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "I was sitting on a particularly spiky piece of popcorn…" Harry grinned at her and she smiled and turned back to the film.

He didn't notice the waves of jealousy radiating from the girl beside him.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Yeah, yeah, I know it wasn't brilliant. What were you expecting?! Contrary to popular belief, I'm not in fact a genius…

Hope you enjoyed that :)

You know what would make me write faster? Reviews. Oh, yes. Once again, I would like to thank those who have already reviewed this story but please keep 'em coming!

Thanks for reading – tune in next time for more laughs, teasing and possibly even popcorn!

xxx


	6. Christmas Special!

**Title:**Harry Potter and his Cronies go to Muggle University – The Christmas Episode!

**Author:**love-child-1403

**Disclaimer:**Unfortunately, I own none of the characters that the children (and adults) of the world have grown to love and cherish. If I did, then the books probably wouldn't have been much of a hit… And I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction, much less this disclaimer.

**Brief Summary: **This Christmas Special sees some strange truths unveiled and a revelation that, hopefully, no one will have predicted! Also… it's Christmassy, which means there will be a lot less strife… But it will still be lurking in the shadows :)

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

AN:// This is a Christmas special written for the person on whom Alice is based. The first chapter was written for her birthday, so I'm just keeping with the trend! Merry Christmas :)

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Harry grinned and plonked a too-large Santa hat on Alice's head, chuckling slightly when it slipped down over her eyes. He couldn't help but notice that she looked absolutely adorable, even in her strange combination of clothes. That was the thing about Alice; she had only one outfit, but several different pieces of each item. She wore a teal dress that came to just above her knees and grey leggings with black pumps. On anyone else it would look absolutely ridiculous.

"Harry, I look silly!" she whined and began to fumble half-heartedly with the hat that was the cause of her worries. Harry grinned and pointed at his own hat, which was set at a jaunty angle on his head.

"Alice, you look no sillier than I do… Stop complaining and get in the Christmas spirit, will you?" Alice wrinkled up her nose in a way that made her look a bit like a bunny rabbit.

"Har-ry, people are looking at me," she said, tugging self-consciously on her clothes and staring pleadingly up into Harry's eyes. He just grinned down at her and linked arms with her.

"Shall we?" A pretty blush dusted her freckled cheeks and she grinned awkwardly, like she was trying not to be amused but was failing miserably. She took his arm and they walked down to the cafeteria together. They barely ever ate lunch there, usually opting for the variety that town offered, but today it was Christmas lunch so they'd decided to, as Harry put it, "get in the Christmas spirit".

"Oh, there's Hermione," Alice said, pointing at the bushy-haired girl who was waving them over to their table. As they made their way over, they could see that also occupying the table were Ron, Maura and, surprisingly enough, the girl from the cinema. Harry didn't see the frown that passed across Alice's face.

"Hey, Hermione," Harry greeted her, giving the rest of the table a nod of acknowledgement and reaching for the plate of food that Hermione had collected for him. Ron nudged Harry and nodded to the newcomer.

"Harry, this is Aria – she's a Journalism student here," he said, beaming at Hermione when she smiled at him, confirming that he had got it right. Ron was prone to getting things wrong. A lot.

"Hey, Harry," Aria said, smiling and taking the hand that was held out to her. "I believe we've met?" Harry nodded and couldn't help but smile back at her. She looked entirely comfortable and seeing her surrounded by Hogwarts students made him realise that he_ had _seen her before – and not just at the cinema.

"You're in Ravenclaw, right?" he said suddenly, earning him some odd looks from other tables. "I've seen you in school, I think." She nodded and picked up her glass of coke.

"And there's no point in asking you what house you were in… The infamous Harry Potter; clearly a Gryffindor!" If anyone else had said it, it might have sounded snide, but the way she said it made it obvious that she was genuinely impressed. She turned to Alice and, if possible, her smile widened. "You look just like Siân, you know?" The surprise was clear on Alice's face.

"You knew my sister?" she asked, reaching for her own glass, which was filled to the brim with apple juice. Aria laughed and took a sip of her drink.

"Alice, of course I know your sister…" she trailed off slightly at the end of her sentence, as if holding something back. Alice frowned.

"Go on…?" Aria hesitated and put down her glass.

"Alice… I _dated _your sister," she said finally. The whole table stared at her in silence. Then Alice gave a triumphant laugh.

"I_ knew _it! I knew it! She always denied it but – oh, this is so exciting!" By this point Alice had brought her hand up to her mouth and her eyes were shining with excitement. The other people on the table that had previously been staring at Aria now swung round to stare at Alice.

"You're _excited?_" Harry asked incredulously, his hat slipping over his eyes when he frowned at her. "You've just been told that you're sister is gay and you're doing that thing you do when something is… well, when something is very exciting…" He shrugged, almost at a loss for words. Alice just beamed at him.

"It's just so exciting! I mean… I always knew I was missing something!" Alice was still grinning so Harry just smiled weakly and carried on with his Christmas lunch. It usually took a couple of hours to get a proper response out of the girl so it was best not to let his food go to waste – he'd just have to talk to her later…

"Anyway… I'm late for a meeting with one of my lecturers… I'll catch you guys later?" Aria said, rising from the table and grabbing her bag. The rest of the table nodded and said their goodbyes as she disappeared into the throng of students that always seemed to be in the corridors. They continued with their lunches, all of them somehow knowing that they'd just found a new addition to their little group.

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Katrina sighed and, looking suspiciously around her, pulled out a faded piece of parchment. She opened it and read its contents, her smile widening with every word that she took in. When she had finished, she folded it up and slipped it back into her pocket, her sinister grin firmly in place. Casting a glance around the corridor, she marched off, her hair streaming out behind her. Someone was going to be in for a rough time…

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"-And then she said that she'd been 'at a friend's house', which didn't sound suspicious _at all…_" Alice said sarcastically, flopping down on her bed and picking up her favourite teddy bear, Alfred. Then she obviously remembered to whom she was talking, as she immediately put it back down again, blushing. Harry was sitting on her windowsill, staring straight at her with his bright green eyes. He was having a hard time understanding Alice at the moment; she'd started talking incredibly fast following the revelation that her sister had gay tendencies.

"So, what you're saying is… you suspected that your sister was…" Harry began, struggling to find a word that would be correct, but at the same time completely inoffensive.

"Gay as a picnic basket?" she supplied innocently, throwing him a can of coke from the much-used mini-fridge that sat beside her bed. Harry caught it deftly; something that he knew was a positive side effect of his many years as a Seeker. He couldn't help but blush, though, when he thought of the fact that some people might use Alice's exact words to describe _him_… Alice plainly saw how uncomfortable Harry felt and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, Harry – sorry! I-I didn't mean to say it like that, I-" Harry stopped her stammering with a grin and a wave of his hand.

"Nah, it's ok… You _know_ that's not the category I'd put myself in…" he said, opening his can of coke and taking a large gulp from it. He and Alice had had this conversation many times before. Harry wasn't exactly gay… it had never been anyone but Malfoy. Of course, Harry didn't know the effect that even Malfoy's name had on Alice's well-hidden anger. He had no idea of her jealousy and how often she had levelled a hearty glare at the oblivious Slytherin in the University corridors. But then, Harry had never been very good at working out other people's feelings for him…

"So…" Alice said slowly, toying with one of Alfred's ragged paws absentmindedly, "you wanna go for a walk or something?" Harry nodded and finished off his coke, dumping the empty can in the rubbish bin when he stood up.

"The usual route?" he asked, indicating the window behind him and grinning at Alice. She smiled back.

"Let's go."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"So, Ron – you're betting he'll realise some time in January?" Hermione said, scribbling something on a thick notepad and glancing questioningly up at Ron. He nodded and pushed a Galleon across the table. "Maura?" The blonde girl looked thoughtful for a moment then pushed her own Galleon towards Hermione.

"I'm going for… New Year's Eve," she said confidently, sitting back in her chair and looking pointedly at Aria. "Come on, Miss Valerio, I know you're a betting kind of girl!" Maura winked and Aria shrugged, grinning.

"You know me too well!" she said with a heavy, melodramatic sigh, also placing a Galleon next to Hermione's notepad. "I think… one week from today. Any other takers?" Trista, a quiet friend of Aria's, placed her own bet and they all stood up.

"Is that everyone, Hermione?" Ron asked, looking around at the group that had been brought together by their little betting game. Hermione nodded and collected all the money into a small leather purse, slipping it into her bag, along with the notepad.

"Yes, I think so. Are there any more bets for when Harry's going to realise Alice is in love with him?"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"I don't understand exactly _why _we always have to use the window instead of the door…" Alice said, adjusting the hat that Harry had insisted she had to wear for the entire time leading up to Christmas. Harry just shrugged and pulled her to the archway overlooking the University grounds where they usually spent most of their evenings. They slumped down onto the disused stone steps and leaned back on opposite sides of the ancient entrance.

It was only when Harry stifled laughter next to her that Alice remembered he was there at all. She had been so wrapped up her own thoughts that she'd begun to believe that she was alone. She turned to see Harry looking up, a huge grin on his face. She followed his gaze and felt her whole face heat up. They had inadvertently sat beneath a sprig of mistletoe, which, in Alice's mind, seemed now to be mocking her.

She was more shocked, however, when she felt Harry's lips on her own. If she'd thought that her face couldn't get any redder, she'd been wrong…

And, as soon as it had started, it stopped, and Harry was standing up and offering her his hand. She smiled, somewhat disorientated, and took it, letting go of it almost immediately. Harry grinned at her.

"What's a kiss between friends?" he said, looking at his watch and grimacing. "Seems like we have a lecture to get to – I've just got to grab some stuff from my dorm, ok? I'll see you there…" And with that, he was off. Alice stood where he had left her, thinking about what he had said to her.

_'What's a kiss between friends?'_

"I don't know…" she whispered to herself, pressing her fingers to her lips, "you tell me…"

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

Thanks for reading, guys!

Merry Christmas to you all, and a Happy New Year :)

Reviewing would really make my Christmas, you know… And yes – that's a huge, fat hint right there!

xxx


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